You may have noticed that posts on this blog have been rather sparse (or non existent) since mid March.  In April, I went back to work full time.  William, my husband, switched to a stay at home dad, doing web development and photography.  This switch came rather suddenly and I found spending time with my family a better use of my free time than blogging.  My son Aidan is now nearly 9 months old, babbling, crawling, eating semi solid foods, standing independently, and we’re greatly looking forward to his first Halloween.  Motherhood for Dummies still has big plans for the future, and will be sweeping away the cob webs and dust soon enough.

My husband is a pastor, in between churches at the moment.  We have great hopes that he will be back in full time ministry very soon, and I will be a stay at home wife and mother again.  You may notice the site going through some changes in the mean time, as I search for a new site design and a better direction for the site.  The “zombie” period as I’ve decided to call it.  Looks like there might be some movement, but there’s not much going on under the surface.  Before long we’ll be back sharing experiences, lessons, and tips with each other, not to mention all the adorable, funny, and sometimes gross stories that are sure to be shared where children are involved.  So put that shovel down, and don’t nail our coffin shut just yet.  MFD will rise again!

I’m finding myself getting more and more confused.  My son Aidan keeps changing schedules on me.  He’s sleeping more through the night.  Sleeping in five and four hour segments now.  Great!  I get more sleep at night now.  The draw back is he’s awake more during the day.  This wouldn’t be such a problem,  but he’s a huge cuddle bug.  If I’m not in sight, or not holding him he’s crying.  Not an issue when he was sleeping 20 hours a day.  I’m starting to wish he was big enough to start interacting with toys, tummy time and sitting in the swing aren’t enough anymore.  I can’t seem to get anything done during the day now!  As soon as I put him down for just a moment, he starts whining and sometimes screaming until I pick him back up.  So I’m sending out distress signals into the cosmos.  Any tips on entertaining a 1 month old with out driving my self bananas?  I’ve tried just about everything I can think of.  Love to hear any and all stories or suggestions!  Lets get a talkin’  ladies.

Today I have thoughts running through my head.  Memories, and feelings all jumbled together, so bear with me.  I’m adopted.  My parents adopted me when I was six years old, though I lived with them since I was four.  I remember before I was adopted.  I remember the different families that took care of me.  I remember my Birth Mother.  I remember she loved me.  I love my mom and dad now, they are the only family I could ever want.  But I know they had it rough with me.  Many people adopt, very few adopt a child who is older than 1 year though.  Once a child reaches 1, the chances of them ever getting adopted drop each year.  It’s even worse with children with diabilities.  My friend Tammi and her husband adopted an adorable little boy named Michael when he was six I believe, or around that age.  Michael has disabilities.  My hat goes off to them, because very few families take on the challenge of adopting an older child, let alone one with disabilities. So I know there are people who do make this decision, but I know they are rare.

I was passed from family to family before I ever came to be with my mom and dad.  Very little discipline had been in my life, and talk of Jesus and who he is never happened.  My husband, while not in the adoption system, also had an unstable beginning.  He was raised primarily by his grand parents in the first couple of years, and his mother left.  His Dad stepped up after accepting Jesus and raised William the best a single father could.  He was later adopted by his step mom when his father remarried.  His dad and step mom are wonderful people, just like my mom and dad, but the emotional baggage that comes with a child with unconventional beginnings can be hard on any family.

Children in these situations will often develope attatchment problems.  I know for myself, before I was adopted, I associated mother with female.  I called every woman “mommy” because I had no concept of what I mother should be until my mom came into my life.  So I was hard on my mom growing up.  I didn’t know what she really meant to me, and the affect she had on my life until I was much older.  What she taught me, what she showed me about life, and most importantly her faith.

I think about my son through all this.  How he has his mother and his father.  What we will teach him.  What he will see in our lives.  He has a much better start in life than many children get, and even better than my husband or myself ever got.  Does it make a difference?  My husband and I turned out okay.  Will Aidan be better than we were growing up?  Will he love God just as much if not more?  Will he have a greater chance of being successful in life?  Will he get into less trouble?  These are all things running through my head today.

What ever happens, I know he has a great start in life.  He is loved.  He is surrounded by his family.  A family that is not going anywhere, and will be with him his whole life.  A family who loves God.  I know that has got to count for something, and I am so greatful for the life I can give my son.

Here’s a great little tip for mommies on the go.  My hands are always dry now.  With winter wind, all my bodies water going toward milk production, and constantly using baby wipes on just about everything these days, my hands are more dry than normal.  If you’re out and about, and realize you didn’t pack lotion, I found a great solution is to wash your hands!  The soap in public restrooms usually have moisturizers in them.  I’ll wash my hands and I’ll be good for at least an hour or two, maybe more depending on how dry my hands are that day.  Really useful for when you’re on the go and don’t have time, or resources, to pick up some lotion or stop back home.

Back in my b5media days, I wrote a post over on Mother Earths Garden about a really great lotion for extreme dry skin, Skin MD.  You have to keep applying it the first day every couple of hours, then as needed after that.  Really great stuff.  It sold over the counter at some drugstores like CVS in their pharmacy department.  You can also order it online.

I’ve noticed that the older my son gets, the more time he spends awake during the day.  We’ve been really fortunate with his sleeping patterns so far.  He sleeps soundly though the night, from about 10pm to 9am, waking up about every three hours to eat.  It’s like clock work.  He normally sleeps most of the day too, but the pattern varies more.  Three hours here, an hour there.  If a car ride is involved he might sleep for four or five hours before waking up to eat.  Yesterday he spent most of the day awake, which prompted me to do some research on just how much sleep he should be getting, and how often should he be awake and alert.  Here’s a nifty little layout that hopefully answers this question for both the infant stage and onward.  The times are approximate, but most children should fall with in the time ranges.  If your child is sleeping more or less, it’s probably a good idea to consult his or her pediatrician.

Newborn:

• Sleep a total of 16 t0 20 hours a day
• Sleep for 1 to 4 hours at a time
• Should wake up overnight to feed every 2 – 4 hours
• Usually only takes approximately 20 minutes to settle down to sleep
• Usually not awake for more than 1 hour between sleeping

3 to 6 Months:

• Sleep a total of 14 to 18 hours a day
• Sleep for 2 to 3 hours at a time
• Should sleep through the night at least 6 hours
• Sometimes takes up to 1 hour to settle down for sleeping
• May be awake for 2 to 3 hours between sleeping

6 to 9 Months:

• Sleep a total of 12 to 16 hours a day
• Sleep for 1 to 3 hours at a time
• Should sleep overnight at least 8 hours
• May take up to 1 hour to settle down to sleep
• May be awake for 2 to 4 hours between sleeping

9 to 12 Months:

• Sleep a total of 10 to 14 hours a day
• Sleep for 1 to 2 hours at a time
• Should sleep through the night at least 8 hours
• May take up to 1 hour to settle down to sleep
• Usually only sleeps 2 or 3 times during the day

By the time your child is a year old, he or she should have fallen into a pretty regular schedule as far as sleeping goes.  It’s not a good idea to change sleep times on a regular basis, as this can cause some unstability in their mood and developement.  Try to go to bed at the same time every night, and don’t force a baby to stay awake during the day in hopes they will sleep better at night.  They need lots of sleep, so don’t worry if they spend most of the day napping.  Enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts!